How do you define success? There are many different ways to define success. One of simplest ways is determined by our happiness.
Do you get out of bed every morning loving your life? If people are happy with their work, the ones they share their lives with and other important markers in life, then they consider themselves successful.
Actually, until recently I’m not sure how much thought I’ve given to the idea of success and how it relates to my habits—until I read Rich Habits by Tom Corey.
After spending five years interviewing successful people, he found that successful people value their relationships. They have created daily habits for keeping in touch with others. To successful people relationships are gold.
DO YOU LOOK IN THE REAR-VIEW MIRROR?
Yesterday afternoon I was sitting at a red light and happened to glance in my rear-view mirror. I was reminded of the Rear-view Mirror Syndrome, better known as RMS, that I read about in Hal Elrod’s The Miracle Morning.
RMS is described as our subconscious mind’s ability to continually relive and recreate our past. Of course, I thought about my past and the mistakes that I have made…all kinds of mistakes, especially relationship mistakes.
As we look in our rear-view mirror, we mistakenly believe that who we were (our past selves) equals we who are. There is only one problem with thinking this way: It limits our potential based on the limitations of our past.
We all think around 50,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day. Day after day and month after month, we think all the same thoughts. No wonder our lives and relationships stay the same year after year. We carry around the same stress, worry and fear with us like familiar baggage.
If we want better relationships, we are going to have to change our thought habits and incorporate more successful relationship habits into our lives.
When presented with opportunities for change we quickly check our rear-view mirror to see our past and our past capabilities. We say, “No, I can’t do that. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
To move beyond these limitations we have to accept that our past is not equal to our future. We can change. We can create better relationships.
Successful people have incorporated specific habits in their lives to create relationships with the important people in their lives. They have also developed habits and systems for maintaining relationships.
By taking five minutes each day, we can build better relationships and create a relationship habit that will last a lifetime.
Patrick Ewers, one of Silicon Valley’s top relationship management experts, believes that keeping up with our important relationships daily is the central habit to developing long-term, meaningful relationships.
We all have about 20-30 key people in our lives. He calls these people legends. These are the people that we are closest to, that have a direct impact on our lives, people that we can count on to help us when we need them, and most importantly people with whom we want to form strong bonds.
Reach out to one of these people each day with something valuable, relevant and meaningful. This may be an introduction, advice or feedback. Look for ways to make contact with these key people.
You can also keep in touch by making birthday calls and life event calls.
At the end of one month you will have touched every single person and developed a new habit. At the end of two months, it will be easier to increase the frequency of your contact and improve your system.
Using a contact management system is one way many people keep up with the people in their network. There are traditional system like Outlook. In my research, I found applications designed for this purpose, too.
It’s hard for the average person to manage all of this by memory, so a contact management system would be helpful for those who are serious about keeping in touch with their key relationships.
Reaching out to others is one of the best way to improve the important relationships in your life. This system only takes about five minutes per day. In the long run, it will prove to be five valuable minutes of your life.
“An extraordinary life is all about daily continuous improvements in the areas that matter most.” – Robin Sharma
Question: Do you have a contact management system that works? Do you have another way of keeping in touch with the key people in your life?